When Your Body Holds the Stress: Real-Life Ways to Release It
We often talk about stress as something that happens in our minds. But the truth is, stress and trauma are not just “in our heads.” They live in our bodies. From clenched jaws and tight shoulders to digestive issues and migraines, our nervous system holds onto unresolved experiences until we find safe ways to release them.
In a recent episode of Thriving Parenting, trauma-trained massage and craniosacral therapist Mel Gorry shared her powerful insights into how stress shows up physically, and what we can do to create healing.
Stress and Trauma Don’t Just Disappear
Mel’s journey into bodywork started from her own lived experience. Living with cystic fibrosis and spending time on the lung transplant list left her in a constant state of fight-or-flight. It wasn’t until she discovered craniosacral therapy—a gentle practice that attunes to the nervous system—that she realised how disconnected she had become from her own body.
Through this experience, she saw firsthand that trauma doesn’t simply vanish with time. If it’s not processed, the body finds ways to hold onto it:
A tight jaw or clenched pelvic floor
Digestive discomforts like constipation or diarrhoea
Migraines or recurring headaches
Back, neck, or shoulder pain
Chronic fatigue or sleep disruption
As Mel explains, these physical symptoms are often “the body keeping the score.” They are signs of stored stress and unresolved survival responses.
Why the Body Holds Stress
Our bodies are wired to protect us. When we experience something overwhelming—like a traumatic birth, a car accident, or even ongoing stress—our nervous system braces. Fascia, the connective tissue that surrounds muscles and organs, tightens and holds tension.
For children, this might show up as “tummy aches” before school. For adults, it can mean migraines, muscle pain, or constant anxiety. Left unresolved, these patterns become chronic, and over time, we may mistake them as just part of who we are.
But as Mel reminds us: it’s not about getting rid of emotions, it’s about helping them move through the body safely.
Practical Ways to Release Stress
The good news is that the nervous system can heal. It thrives on flexibility—the ability to feel stress when needed, but return to balance afterwards. Mel shared practical, real-life tools to help you reconnect with your body and start releasing tension:
1. Notice Sensations in Your Body
Instead of pushing feelings down, pause and ask:
Where do I feel this stress?
Does it feel heavy, tight, hot, or restless?
Even naming the sensation creates awareness and gives you a starting point.
2. Ground Yourself in the Present Moment
When emotions feel overwhelming, orient yourself to your surroundings:
Feel your feet on the ground.
Lean into the back of your chair.
Notice something calming in the room—a plant, artwork, or a sound.
This reminds your body that you are safe right now.
3. Breathe and Soften
Practice a gentle exhale that’s longer than your inhale. Unclench your jaw, soften your stomach, release your shoulders. These small physical cues tell your nervous system it can stand down.
4. Move the Energy
Emotions are energy, and energy needs to move. Instead of bottling up anger or frustration, try:
Stomping your feet outside
Screaming into a pillow
Taking a brisk walk without distractions
This allows your body to release what it’s been holding.
5. Resource Yourself
Mel emphasises the importance of “resourcing”—building up the body’s energy reserves so you can cope with stress. This might mean:
Getting restorative sleep
Eating balanced meals instead of relying on caffeine and sugar
Doing something you love, like a hobby, creative outlet, or time in nature
The more you resource yourself, the more capacity you have to process difficult emotions.
Supporting Children’s Nervous Systems
Stress isn’t just an adult problem. Mel works with many children experiencing anxiety, often presenting as tummy aches or trouble sleeping. For kids, small changes like adjusting to a new classroom can overwhelm their system.
Parents can support their children by:
Creating predictability and safety around changes
Helping them notice where they feel emotions in their bodies
Encouraging activities that help them decompress (quiet time, creative play, or physical movement)
Modeling their own self-care and regulation
As Mel says, “Our nervous system is the backbone of the family. When we do our own work, our kids benefit too.”
Healing is Possible
The biggest takeaway from Mel’s work is that healing is never too late. Whether your trauma happened last year or decades ago, the body has an incredible capacity to release, rewire, and return to balance.
It doesn’t happen overnight, but with safe support, gentle body practices, and consistent resourcing, you can move from surviving to thriving.
And remember, as Mel beautifully reframes it: the body doesn’t just keep the score of stress and trauma—it also keeps the score of joy, love, and connection.
