Laughing Again in Parenthood (Even If It Doesn’t Come Naturally Right Now)
Parenthood can feel incredibly serious.
The mental load. The constant transitions. The whinging afternoons. The bedtime negotiations. The pressure to do it all “right”.
And somewhere along the way, fun is often the first thing to disappear.
If you’re feeling flat, overwhelmed, anxious, or disconnected from the playful version of yourself, this article is for you. Not to add another thing to your to-do list, but to gently remind you of one of the most powerful tools you already have access to:
Humour.
Not performative humour.
Not cracking jokes.
Not being “the fun parent” when you’re running on empty.
But small, human, nervous-system-supporting moments of laughter that soften the hard edges of parenting.
Humour Is Not Extra. It’s Regulation.
When life feels heavy, laughter can feel out of reach. And yet, biologically, laughter is designed to help us survive stress.
When we laugh, even a forced or gentle laugh:
Stress hormones reduce
Muscles soften
Breathing deepens
Heart rate begins to regulate
The prefrontal cortex comes back online
That part of the brain responsible for perspective, problem solving, emotional regulation and leadership is exactly the part parents need access to most.
The same thing happens for children.
Laughter helps children complete stress cycles. It’s part of how they process big feelings, recover after tears, and move through moments of overwhelm. It’s regulation in motion.
Humour isn’t a distraction from emotional development.
It’s one of the pathways to it.
Emotional Regulation Is Modelled, Not Taught
Children don’t learn emotional regulation from lectures. They learn it through nervous system cues.
A playful moment communicates:
You are safe
I’ve got you
This moment is manageable
This is why humour is so effective during transitions that often feel big or unsettling for children:
Bedtime
Getting dressed
Mealtimes
Leaving the house
Sibling conflict
Long, stretched afternoons
Laughter opens the door to connection when words fall flat.
Humour at Bedtime: Softening Separation
Bedtime is one of the most emotionally loaded transitions of the day. Even when children are tired, capable sleepers, separation can still feel big.
Humour helps soften that goodbye.
For babies and toddlers, this might look like:
Peekaboo with the comforter
Blowing bubbles before sleep
Silly voices during nappy changes
Putting pyjamas on your head and “losing” them
For toddlers and preschoolers:
Hopping like kangaroos into the bedroom
Carrying them in different playful ways
Reading books upside down
Putting them into bed back-to-front and kissing their feet
Blowing out the light like a flickering candle and “getting it wrong”
These moments aren’t silly for the sake of it.
They release stress and help children move into separation feeling held and connected.
Mealtimes and Daily Stress Points
Mealtimes are another area where humour can change the energy instantly.
Try:
Making faces out of food
Delivering meals in a toy truck
Pretending to be a waiter
Wearing pasta on your fingers
Naming vegetables in silly voices
These tiny shifts don’t undermine boundaries or nutrition. They bring flexibility and joy into moments that can otherwise feel tense or transactional.
Moving Stress Through Your Body Together
Some days are just long.
On those days, humour might not look like laughter straight away. It might look like movement.
Shaking your arms like an octopus
Making silly noises while releasing tension
Lying upside down on the couch
Rolling on the floor together
Running outside “like crazy people”
Your child doesn’t need you to explain your stress. They just need to feel it move.
When you let your child witness you releasing stress in playful ways, you’re teaching them how emotions move through the body safely.
But What If Humour Doesn’t Come Naturally?
For some parents, humour feels vulnerable.
If you grew up hearing:
“Don’t be silly”
“Be serious”
“That’s immature”
“Hold yourself together”
Then humour may feel unsafe or exposing.
If that’s you, you’re not doing anything wrong.
Your nervous system is protecting you.
Start gently:
Notice what already makes you smile
Watch comedy or light-hearted shows
Recall funny moments from before parenthood
Pay attention to your child’s funny quirks and logic
Sometimes humour needs to be rebuilt like a muscle.
Before accessing humour, you may need to regulate your own body:
Shake out your hands
Drop your shoulders
Step outside briefly
Splash water on your face
Play music that lifts your energy
Take slow, grounding breaths
Humour is far more accessible when your nervous system feels safe.
Build a “Funny Bank”
One practical tool is creating a humour bank:
Write down funny things your child says
Capture silly moments
Save videos that make you smile
Note mispronunciations, quirks, toddler logic
These memories aren’t just for later. They help you access joy when things feel heavy.
As children grow, they love revisiting these moments. They love knowing they were a source of joy.
Laugh at Yourself (Often)
Parenting is humbling.
Clothes on inside out
Pegs still attached
Forgetting nappies
Running late
Poonamis at the worst possible moment
These aren’t failures. They’re shared human moments.
Laughing at yourself teaches children:
Mistakes are safe
Humour is allowed
You don’t have to be perfect to be loved
It also reminds you that you’re allowed to be human too.
Parenting Doesn’t Have to Be So Serious
Yes, children need boundaries.
Yes, they need leadership.
Yes, they need guidance.
But they also need to see:
Flexibility
Creativity
Emotional expression
Joy
Humanity
Humour allows you to be both the leader and the human.
It doesn’t erase the hard moments, but it softens them.
It opens space to breathe.
It shifts the energy of a home.
It brings connection back within reach.
And most importantly, it helps you return to presence.
A Thought to Carry With You
The child in you, like all children, loves to laugh.
The more laughter we invite into our lives, the better we all become.
You don’t need to be funny.
You don’t need to perform.
You just need to allow small moments of lightness back in.
