BABY BITESIZE: 3 Reasons Why Your Baby’s Fighting Sleep (and 5 Ways To Shift It)

Sleep. It’s the one thing parents crave and the one thing babies seem determined to resist. If you’ve ever found yourself staring at a wide-eyed baby at bedtime wondering, “Why won’t you just go to sleep?” — this post is for you.

In this bite-size breakdown, we’re diving into the three main reasons your baby or toddler may be fighting sleep — and more importantly, five supportive ways to gently guide them back to rest.

Because sleep isn’t just about routines — it’s about regulation, readiness, and relationship.

Why Is My Baby Resisting Sleep?

Sleep resistance can feel incredibly confusing. One moment your baby looks sleepy, the next they’re bouncing off the walls — or wailing in frustration. The truth is, there’s usually more than meets the eye. Let’s unpack the big three culprits:

1. Overtiredness (But Not the Way You Think)

The term “overtired” gets thrown around a lot — and often unfairly. Many parents are terrified of missing the “sleep window,” thinking a slightly tired baby will spiral into meltdown mode. But here’s the truth: life happens. You’re not raising a robot. You’re raising a human. And yes, overtiredness will occasionally happen.

What’s important to know is this: when your baby becomes overtired, their body releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which make it harder to relax and fall asleep. You may notice this as a “tired and wired” state — that late-night burst of energy that makes sleep feel impossible.

Babies (and toddlers) don’t yet have the self-regulation skills to wind themselves down. They need us to step in with rhythm, routine, and reassurance.

2. Undertiredness (Yep, That’s a Thing Too)

On the flip side, some babies are simply not tired enough yet. Maybe they’ve had a long nap, or bedtime has come a bit too early. What happens next? Resistance. Protest. Playfulness in the cot. Or worse — they sleep for 20 minutes and wake up refreshed.

Signs of undertiredness include:

• Baby looks sleepy but then lights up with energy when laid down

• Crying followed by cooing or babbling in the cot

• Frequent “false starts” at bedtime

• Short naps followed by happy wake-ups

This is especially common from four months onward when wake windows begin to shift. Experimenting with awake times and tracking your baby’s rhythms can make a big difference.

3. Developmental Leaps and Milestones

Is your baby suddenly resisting sleep… and also rolling, crawling, or saying a new word? Chances are, you’re in a developmental leap. These leaps can disrupt sleep as your child’s brain and body adjust to rapid growth.

You might notice:

• Increased clinginess (hello, separation anxiety!)

• Night waking or early rising

• Practising new skills in the cot (like rolling or pulling up)

The good news? This phase is temporary. Support them with empathy, routine, and consistency — and trust that it will pass.

So… What Can I Do About It?

If forcing sleep or panicking hasn’t worked (and it won’t), here are five gentle, actionable steps you can take today.

1. Check the Timing

Review your baby’s awake windows and adjust accordingly. Even a 15–30 minute tweak earlier or later can make a world of difference. Use a guide (like the Awake Times Freebie available on my website!) to help you experiment with confidence.

2. Pause and Observe

Before jumping into fix-it mode, take a breath and observe. Are they practising a new skill? Are they tired and wired? Or just plain not ready for sleep yet? A moment of observation can bring clarity to what your baby really needs.

3. Adjust Your Support

Sometimes it’s not what you’re doing, but how you’re doing it. Does your baby need more connection? More space? A refreshed wind-down routine? Meeting them where they’re at emotionally can create the safety they need to relax.

4. Embrace Flexibility

Trying to “force” sleep usually backfires. Babies can sense tension. Instead, hold boundaries with warmth. Provide connection through voice, touch, or presence, and stay calm as they work through their big feelings.

5. Ask for Support

You are not meant to figure all this out alone. Sleep resistance can feel overwhelming, especially when it’s your own baby and your own exhaustion in the mix. Whether it’s reaching out to a professional, downloading a resource, or chatting with a friend — please don’t carry it all by yourself.

A Final Thought

“When we stop expecting what used to work to keep working, we open up space to grow with them, not against them.”

Your child is always evolving — and your parenting gets to evolve with them. You are not failing. You are learning. And you’re doing an amazing job.

Let’s keep thriving, not just surviving.
Until next time!