Is My Baby Really Scared of the Cot?! Understanding Your Child’s fears: The Power of Perspective vs Perception

Have you ever wondered why your child seems afraid of things you know are perfectly safe? Or why they resist situations that seem completely normal to you?

In today’s discussion, we’re diving deep into the fascinating difference between perspective and perception—a game-changing concept that can truly transform your parenting approach.

The Key Difference: How Adults vs. Children See the World

As adults, we process the world through perspective—a combination of experience, logic, and reasoning. We can understand different viewpoints, even if we don’t agree with them.

But children? They don’t have perspective yet.

Instead, they experience the world through perception—a raw, unfiltered response to their surroundings using their senses and emotions. Research suggests that perspective begins developing around four to five years old, but before that, perception is their primary way of understanding the world.

That’s why children react strongly to seemingly harmless things. Their minds aren’t assessing the context—they're simply responding to what they see, hear, feel, taste, and smell.

The Fear of Balloons: A Real-Life Example

Let’s consider my son’s unexpected fear of balloons. At two years old, he would have a fight-or-flight response anytime a balloon appeared.

Why?

Because to him, a balloon was:

• Unpredictable – It moved randomly.

• Strange-sounding – The noise of rubbing or popping was unsettling.

• Unfamiliar in texture – The feel of the rubber was uncomfortable.

Even though I knew balloons were harmless, his perception told him they weren’t safe. And perhaps, at daycare, he had an experience that reinforced that fear—maybe a balloon popped suddenly, or another child pushed one toward him.

Over time, with gentle exposure, reassurance, and positive experiences, his fear faded. I never forced him to interact with balloons, but I gradually helped reshape his perception until he could see them as non-threatening.

Why This Matters in Parenting

If we, as parents, can recognize this gap between our perspective and our child’s perception, we can approach their fears with empathy instead of frustration.

For example:

• A child who refuses to sleep in their cot isn’t being difficult; their perception tells them it’s unsafe.

• A toddler who cries at daycare drop-off isn’t just trying to make things harder for you; their brain sees separation as a survival threat.

• A preschooler who hates loud hand dryers in public restrooms isn’t overreacting; the sound is genuinely overwhelming to their developing sensory system.

Understanding this shifts how we respond. Instead of saying,
"Why are you scared? It’s fine!"
we can acknowledge their feelings and gently guide them toward new, safe experiences.

How to Help Your Child Feel Safe

1. Narrate Safety

Talk to your child about new experiences before they happen. If daycare is new, say:
"When we get there, I’ll help you find your cubby, and your teacher will be there to help you. I’ll always come back for you."

Or if they’re afraid of the cot:
"This is your cozy bed. Your teddy will be here with you, and I’ll be right outside."

By voicing safety, you help create positive sensory associations.

2. Model Calm Regulation

Your energy sets the tone. If you’re anxious, your child will mirror that stress. Take a deep breath and project confidence—even if you don’t feel it at first.

3. Repetition and Consistency

Children’s perceptions change over time through repeated safe experiences. If a cot initially feels unsafe, gentle reassurance and consistent positive exposure help rewrite their brain’s response.

4. Reflect on Your Own Perception

Sometimes, our own childhood experiences shape how we respond to our kids. If you find yourself thinking, "My child will never sleep alone," ask yourself:

• Where does that belief come from?

• Have I had negative experiences around sleep myself?

• How can I shift my mindset to support my child’s sense of security?

Final Thoughts: The Magic of Perspective

Children experience the world through their senses—not logic. We, as adults, have the ability to guide their perception and help shape their understanding of safety.

The way we respond becomes their lens for how they view the world.

As the quote goes:
"Children see magic because they look for it. Adults see magic because they’ve learned where it’s hidden."

Our role is to help our children uncover where safety, comfort, and trust are hidden—through our words, presence, and consistent love.

If this article resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave a comment, share your experiences, or reach out if you need support in navigating your child’s sleep and emotional needs.

Until next time, keep thriving!