The Will for Change: How Small Shifts Can Transform Your Parenting Journey
Parenting is one of life’s most profound roles. It’s a commitment that shapes not just our children but our entire existence. From the moment we hold our baby in our arms, everything shifts, and we instinctively take on any challenge to keep them safe and secure. But in this relentless dedication, we sometimes overlook a key element: ourselves.
We often think about change as a monumental shift, something requiring motivation and resolve—both things that can feel out of reach amid the day-to-day exhaustion of raising children. In truth, change often starts with the will to confront something uncomfortable, to look at a situation and say, “I need something better—for my child and for myself.” But where do we find that will, and how do we sustain it?
The Sacrifices We Make, the Parts We Overlook
As parents, we’re wired to protect and care for our children. This instinct is so strong that we’d go to incredible lengths to ensure their well-being. We sacrifice sleep, comfort, personal time, and sometimes even mental health, all because we believe it’s what our children need. We might forgo sleep every night, going through the motions in a daze, because we think, “If I don’t do this, who will?”
But here’s the thing: while it’s noble and instinctive to sacrifice for our kids, we must remember that we’re humans too. We need rest. We need to connect with our partners. We need time to recharge and rediscover ourselves beyond the title of “parent.”
Imagine if we could harness even a fraction of the dedication we show toward our children and direct it toward our own needs. We’d still be loving, dedicated parents—but we’d also be whole individuals who can better support our children through the peaks and valleys of life.
Recognising When Instinct Takes Over and Logic Fades
One of the biggest hurdles in creating change as a parent is that our instincts often overshadow our logic. When our child cries, our brains go into survival mode. All reasoning goes out the window as we focus on calming them, protecting them, and providing whatever they need. But if we stay in that state too long, we lose sight of what’s reasonable or even helpful.
Let’s use sleep as an example. Many of us are in the habit of sacrificing our own rest so our children can sleep. But what if, instead of automatically reacting, we considered other options? Could our child benefit from learning self-soothing techniques appropriate for their age? Might a few adjustments in bedtime routines help both them and us get the rest we need?
Finding Your “Why” as a Parent
A vital part of making positive changes is identifying what will motivate you. It’s about finding a reason, a “why” that’s compelling enough to keep you going when change feels difficult or uncomfortable.
For some parents, the “why” might be the desire to feel energised enough to enjoy time with their kids instead of merely surviving each day. Others might find motivation in wanting to reconnect with a partner or pursue a hobby that makes them feel alive and whole again. We’re all driven by different things, and those motivations can be our guide.
If sleep, for instance, is a struggle that’s wearing you down, think about what getting more rest would mean for you. Would it help you feel more engaged and present with your children? Would it give you the energy to reconnect with old friends or try new activities?
Practical Ways to Embrace Change
When we think about change, it often feels daunting. But change doesn’t have to be a massive, overnight shift. Start small and make gradual adjustments that align with your values and goals.
Set Boundaries Around Your Needs: Prioritise one need that’s been neglected—whether it’s sleep, exercise, or personal time. Setting even small boundaries, like dedicating 15 minutes for yourself each morning, can make a big difference.
Reframe Sleep as a Family Priority: If sleep is your struggle, look at ways to create routines that support restful nights for everyone. This might mean introducing soothing techniques for your child or involving your partner in the bedtime routine so you can rest.
Create a Reward System for Yourself: Just like we reward our kids for positive behaviour, we can reward ourselves for sticking with positive changes. If you manage to get a solid night’s sleep or establish a helpful new routine, treat yourself—whether it’s with a quiet cup of coffee or a quick chat with a friend.
Why the Journey Is Worth It
Being a parent is one of life’s most fulfilling experiences, but it doesn’t mean we should lose ourselves in the process. We deserve to feel good, to have time to rest, and to feel motivated and joyful in our role. When we make our well-being a priority, we become the best version of ourselves for our children. We model resilience, self-care, and adaptability—qualities they will carry with them throughout life.
Every parent faces moments of doubt, exhaustion, and stress. But with a clear sense of our “why” and a willingness to take even small steps toward positive change, we can create a healthier, happier home where everyone can thrive.
Embrace Your “Will for Change”
Think of the will for change as a gift not only for yourself but for your entire family. When we find the strength to make necessary adjustments, even when it feels uncomfortable, we lay a foundation for a parenting journey filled with joy, fulfilment, and resilience. The hard moments will still come, but they won’t define us. Instead, they’ll be part of a journey that we navigate with purpose and love.
So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to ask yourself: What is your “why”? What small change could make a big difference for you and your family? And remember, parenting is about more than just surviving—it’s about thriving in every sense of the word.