If I Could Go Back: 3 Lessons I Wish I Knew as a First-Time Mum (Part 2)
Welcome back, Thrivers, to another episode of Thriving Parenting. If you haven’t caught part one, last week I chatted about three things I wish I’d known as a first-time mom. Today, we’re diving into part two, and I’m flipping the script to talk about three things I’m so glad I did know when I started my motherhood journey. These insights were game-changers, and I hope they resonate with you too.
Parenting is an evolving journey, right? Some days feel like absolute chaos, and other days, you feel like you’ve nailed it. These ups and downs are all part of the process. They’ve shaped who I am as a mother, and I hope you’ll find some of what I share today relatable—whether you're a new mom or a seasoned one.
But before we dive into today's tips, here’s a little life update: I just wrapped up the school holidays and spent some much-needed time away. Scheduling my work on socials ahead of time made it smoother to unplug and be present. I even got to experience a family trip to Thailand! It was amazing to see my kids, ages 8, 10, and 12, soaking in a new culture. The food, the language, the way they interacted with everyone—it was fascinating. Traveling with older kids isn’t necessarily easier; it’s just different. It’s all about navigating opinions and personalities, but we had a blast!
Now, let’s dive into the three things I’m so grateful I knew as a first-time mom.
1. We Are Meant to Evolve
One of the most helpful things I knew as a first-time mom was that both my child and I were meant to evolve. I wasn’t stuck in one phase forever. As much as I loved snuggling my newborn, I knew those days wouldn’t last forever. Babies grow, toddlers tantrum, and development happens at its own pace.
Understanding the normal stages of development helped me let go of stress. Whether it was dealing with toddler tantrums or navigating feeding and sleep, I found comfort in knowing that everything was temporary. I had a book written by a registered nurse that gave me practical advice on what to expect. Knowing what was “normal” allowed me to respond to my baby’s needs without second-guessing myself.
Being aware of developmental milestones helped me feel more confident. I wasn’t trying to fix every little hiccup; I was responding to my child’s cues and allowing them to grow at their own pace. It’s all about trusting your baby—and yourself.
2. My Child Is an Individual
Another crucial thing I realized early on was that my child was their own person, not here to fill any emotional voids for me. They were not mine to keep forever. I was their guide, their safe space, but I had to allow them to evolve and become their own person.
This realization gave me space to truly get to know my child as an individual. I stopped seeing parenting tasks as a checklist—feeding, sleeping, and so on—and started seeing them as opportunities to attune to my baby’s unique needs.
A lot of new moms feel like it’s their “job” to put their baby to sleep. But once I understood that my baby would eventually figure out how to fall asleep on their own, I relaxed. It wasn’t about me “doing” sleep for them—it was about providing the right environment and trusting their abilities.
The more I got to know my child, the easier it was to meet their needs in a way that worked for them. Every baby is different, and it’s so empowering to tap into their individuality and embrace it.
3. Connecting with My Inner Child
Lastly, I’m glad I knew how important it is to stay connected to my inner child. Kids learn through play, and I’ve always been naturally playful—something I didn’t realize would be such a powerful parenting tool.
Play is how kids connect and learn, and being able to laugh, joke, and have fun with them helped me form deeper connections. Whether it was making silly noises to break the monotony of the day or turning bath time into a giggle fest, embracing those lighthearted moments kept the mood up, even on tough days.
Even as my kids have grown, I still lean on humor and play to connect with them. Laughter is such a simple way to break tension, especially with pre-teens who sometimes need a reminder not to take life so seriously. Remember, parenting doesn’t have to be all work and no play.
In conclusion, there are three key things that helped me tremendously as a first-time mom:
We are meant to evolve – Both you and your baby are constantly growing and changing, and that’s okay.
Your child is an individual – They’re not a reflection of you, and embracing their individuality makes parenting less stressful.
Connect with your inner child – Play is a powerful way to bond with your kids and make parenting more fun.
I’ll leave you with this quote: “Let July be July. Let August be August. Let yourself just be, even in uncertainty.” You don’t have to fix everything. You don’t have to solve every problem. You can still find peace and grow amid all the changes.
Thrivers, I hope these insights help you feel more confident in your parenting journey. Let’s embrace the messiness of motherhood together! Until next time, take care of yourselves and your little ones.